Monday, October 7, 2013

Waxing Lyrical About Car Waxing

I was thinking of sending my car for a good wash and polish, and was looking at the promotions in Groupon when some of the advertisements caught my eye. I never knew that people in the car cleaning industry could be so creative in their words!  Oh, and I have also learnt that a wash and polish job is now called auto detailing.

Here are some of the ones I liked:

Weary-looking vehicles seek improvements on appearance and self-esteem as car beauticians restore shine and reputation with auto detailing sessions. Car caretakers wash off accumulated dirt and grime from metallic shells before clay and wax applications protect painted surfaces from further debris. Finally, restoration liquids clear up cloudy and oxidised headlamps as dashboards and tyres shine brighter with solutions, persistent cloths, and powerful persuasion.

Mechanical babies roll into the shower to rid dirt and gifts from feathered friends, while a good carpet beating discourages dust collection and bad behaviour. Hooded husks regain baby buttocks complexion with the Meguiar’s clay mask which removes dirt prints and minor scratches. For a smooth shiny finish that lasts up to three months, grease monkeys pick out tar stains before polishing and wrapping cars in double layers of wax. Once rear pipes are cleaned out and cars left void of unwanted matter, further interior and exterior polishing complete the four to five hour makeover, after which vehicles can ride their humans home.

Three-hour gratifying session begins with dust, mud and evidence of affections being washed off vehicular surfaces. Carpet and trunk dwelling vagabonds are evicted from carriage interiors before transport technicians proceed to smoothen metallic facades with clay and expertly polish scratch marks away. Customers may opt for glass stain removal treatment, expunging water marks and hard stains but not scratches or err towards iron dry wash, leaving cushioned thrones immaculate and ready to cradle posteriors once more.

Makes you wonder if some punny person got the idea from the English idiom 'wax lyrical' and decided to write something lyrical about car waxing!

Wax lyrical = to talk about something with a lot of interest and excitement.
punny = A play on words for the word "funny". It is a pun in itself.


YuinTing said...

It is so beautifully written. Love it!

Sunny-Cookie said...

Wish I knew how to write like this when I did essays in school, haha!